Yes I am the dream queen. I dream never ending dreams where I wake up and go back to sleep and continue where I left off over and over again. Then there are the everyday dreams. Never nightmares for me. probably because I enjoy horror flicks so well. My dreams are usually happy or what we will call fix it dreams.
Fix it dreams finally dawned on me this week. I am the constant helper or fixer for the world. I want everybody happy or I am constantly trying to prove my self worth.
During waking hours I am insecure. I truly am the very overweight person who health is down the tubes and feels like the world could do without me and constantly is. I don’t get out much and live in a county where let’s just say sometimes I don’t feel welcome. I have done lots of things to help volunteered and researched thousands of hours a year for the longest time and seemed to just irritate the locals one way or another. Small towns can be a strain on any new comer especially someone trying to fit in and help. I apparently come across too strong or someone has assigned my jobs that stomp on others feet. After all, how many people do you know fired from the same volunteer job 2 times. Neither was really my fault one lady with a grudge both times. I have been asked back by others, laugh the people asking me back are wonderful and couldn’t help either time but do I have IDIOT on my forehead? NO
Back to my dreams….
I finally dawned on me that my dreams show me as the person doing everything they can to fix things. A detective, researcher, in any area that can help people with what they are looking for. Someone people look up to and admire. Something I don’t feel in life. I am always insecure and seeking positive feedback and not receiving it. People do give it to me and offer me activities as volunteer to make use of my talents. I have written articles and taken photos for local papers. I have done numerous things for the American Red Cross. I also have done research on genealogy for hundreds to thousands of people just because I enjoy it and helping others.
I even research in my dreams looking for that piece of the puzzle to answer the questions plaguing us genealogist in our family.
Can you imagine sleep reading a book, surfing through pages of genealogy. Basically working a jigsaw puzzle in your mind all the time.
Or doing something in your dreams that makes you feel great. A feeling that you just want to feel, I mean really feel and be appreciated.
Show appreciation for people every day. Make them know how good they are and how much they help you don’t make them look for it in their dreams. We all need self worth, some of us more than others.